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About Me Member Multimedia Artist Brian Hoerner21/Male/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 5 Years
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Omoide wa Tooku no Hibi

Sun Jul 5, 2009, 8:05 AM
  • Mood: Not Impressed
  • Listening to: Iron & Wine - Faded From the Winter
  • Reading: Adventures Abroad
  • Playing: MTG
  • Eating: Haven't been
  • Drinking: A&W
Daddy's ghost behind you
Sleeping dog beside you
You're a poem of mystery
You're the prayer inside me


Whenever I forget to take my pill, I can feel my regular thoughts creeping back in. Not even creeping, they make themselves known. Something like, "you thought you could get rid of us, but guess what fucker, we're back!"

Went to a lot of trouble last night to help secure bud to smoke with a friend who never, ever smokes...he never came by (to my knowledge) and the rest of my friends all smoked without me. Great, that's just great...real communal, you assholes.

I'm consistently on the fence between wanting to do something motivated (like get a job, figure out my deal with school), but every day that goes by just makes me feel like it's all that much harder. I can't even describe the sick taste in my mouth over school. I think the higher education system in this country is a travesty, but if I want to go to Japan with a work visa, I have to get a 4-year degree here first. A 4-year degree! I bet between the community college, out of which I was booted, and the university I began attending this year, I don't even have a year's worth of credits! My room mate found a loophole in the system so that he'll get to live a nice, cushy life without ever having to go to school, and that's great for him, but what about me? There are people out there who are simply not made to go to college.

When I was younger I thought it was the dumb people. I thought, people who just don't get education very well, they will work retail management jobs and probably be okay with it. Never in a million years would I have imagined that in many instances, it's the smart people whose particular styles don't lend themselves well to the university machine would be the ones stuck, looking for other, poorer, alternative career options. Being an autodidact hasn't meant anything for the last hundred years. It doesn't matter how much information you can pack into your head, if you didn't pay someone $60,000 or more to put it on a piece of paper and give an endorsement, your knowledge and study amount to nothing.

And I don't even think I want to bitch about interpersonal relationships. It seems like real bad news, but suffice it to say, that that part of my life is just as frustrating as any other.

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU- I like to try and talk myself into believing that it would all be easier if I came from money. You know, like if I could afford to study overseas, find some loophole in the system...but what's the point in hoping for a history that never was? It's just me continuing to try and rationalize my inability to do anything with myself.

deviantID

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: OH
  • Interests: Games, Technology, Friends, Music, Art
  • Favourite movie: The Royal Tenenbaums
  • Favourite band or musician: HIM, Rogue Wave, Joseph Arthur...with 500 artists on my iPod it's hard to pick
  • Favourite genre of music: Rock, jazz, indie, hip-hop, techno...no country, minimal rap
  • Favourite artist: 三浦健太炉
  • Favourite poet or writer: David Sedaris, HP Lovecraft, Stephen King
  • Favourite style of art: Everything but abstract, and "modern" art
  • Operating System: Mac OS X "Leopard"
  • MP3 player of choice: iPhone, 5G iPod, iTunes 7
  • Wallpaper of choice: Fallout 3
  • Favourite game: Chrono Cross
  • Favourite gaming platform: Xbox 360>PS3>Xbox>Gamecube>PS2>DC
  • Favourite cartoon character: ガッツ
  • Personal Quote: A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you have.
  • Tools of the Trade: Nikon D70s, Flash, Final Cut Express HD, Vegas Video, Photoshop, Illustrator, Pages
http://seifex.deadjournal.com

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Comments


Anon deliveres

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And so we meet again Batman......
w00t Food is good I like Food
HI everyone I know...
Thanks for the Watch :hug:

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The Dark Will Come, You Cannot Stop It.
:D cheers for the print request :beer:

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Did I just say that are think it?
Heyy, another 'fex.
Nice to meet you. :D

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I have serious problems...
But that doesn't stop me
Flagged as Spam
What's up
I took this new free iQ quiz my friend showed me. you should check it out. just CLICK HERE TO TAKE THE FREE IQ TEST

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*waves* Hello.
Hidden by Owner
Please don't click that link. Delete it or tag it as spam but do not click it. I'm sorry, it's that spammer thing that's been going around.
If you did click it, reset your password immediately.

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*waves* Hello.
You have an amazing gallery. I think I should put down my pen. 8D

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"Time Is Never Time At All/ You Could Never, Ever Leave/ Without Leaving A Piece Of You"

- "Tonight, Tonight" by the Smashing Pumpkins (c)
Haha, thank you very much.

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There’s a fine line between growing up and becoming boring. When you grow up, you still act stupid. You just pace your stupidity. When you’re young and you don’t give a fuck, you act stupid all the time. ~CliffyB
No problem. And to make matters even better, you look like the grown-up version of my boyfriend. Kinda scary. 8D

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"Time Is Never Time At All/ You Could Never, Ever Leave/ Without Leaving A Piece Of You"

- "Tonight, Tonight" by the Smashing Pumpkins (c)

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